Tuesday Musings

Sometimes people pop up on my Facebook newsfeed that I cannot stand. Generally former friends that I had a falling out with or people that drastically changed (or maybe I did?) after our ways parted. I'm always tempted to delete them when I see their stuff, but I never seem to be able to push the button.

The feelings that these people incite usually range from anger to indifference to relief that I moved away and don't have to deal with them, and I always wonder "Why can't I just unfriend them? Why is this so difficult?"

Facebook has brought home a very important part of life that I tend to forget: that everyone you interact with makes you who you are.

Facebook has chronicled all of the friends and acquaintances (and random people that happen to be in the same place as me) that I've made since I was 15. There are a few that I found from middle school and even elementary school, but mostly it's friends from high school and college. The girl that sat next to me in my senior English class. My roommate at SYNOD. One of my close friends for almost two years. They're all there. Some of them changed my life forever. Some of them had almost no effect on me. Some I never want to see again. Some I wish I had had more time with.

But each and every one of them has meant something to me. Whether they changed my goal in life to "don't be like that person" or truly inspired me doesn't matter. Because they all did something, and I am grateful for it.

Pushing the "unfriend" button just has such a finality to it, even though, honestly, unfriending them wouldn't change a thing. The damage is done, for better or worse, and though I can remove them from my facebook list of "friends" I cannot remove them from my past. I am grateful for every funny picture. Every deep conversation. Ever rude comment. Every condescending look. Every adventure. Every fight. Every time you built me up or tore me down. Because, though I may try, I cannot forget who you were, and how you made me who I am.